*Sigh* Am I really writing about this? It’s pie. I’m reporting on pie. Dangit Joe. *Sigh* Let’s get it over with.

So, let’s talk about last Morphicon. It was a fun time where PR fans got to meet their heroes, most of whom aren’t completely awful people, even if they play them on T.V. (looking at you, Jason David Frank). Well, at some point during the last Power Morphicon, Paul Schrier and Jason Narvy hosted a panel about slapstick comedy. It was all fun and games, people were having a great time, until apparently some guy who is in league with the actor who played Overdrive Black decided to directly attack Paul with a whipped cream pie. Not my weapon of choice, but it’s something.

Now, this is bound to happen. You get a bunch of fans in the same room and one just has to ruin it for everyone else by trying to send the celebrity to the hospital. Luckily, Paul was unharmed by the destructive power of the whipped cream pie. Unfortunately, the con walls were not so lucky. This jerk caused $10,000 worth of damages. And who gets the bill? Paul and Jason of course.

This in itself wouldn’t be enough to report. But, of course, Paul and Jason decided to turn this into a story to tell at future conventions. Primarily, Lexington Comic Con. Of course this would happen in my own backyard. Dangit, Joe, I knew there was a reason you told me to write about this. Anyways, the beloved duo told this story at Derby City Comic Con/Lexington Comic Con, half-jokingly stating that they were now banned from Power Morphicon. And, of course, the interwebz over-reacted. Cause that is all they know how to do. And soon the internet was filled with images like these.

And, the best part? Deciding they needed to help, Power Morphicon decided to join in on the joke. So soon their Facebook page was FILLED with these things. And if Power Morphicon was posting images like these, it must be true, mustn’t it. I mean, everything on the internet is true. Just ask that girl from that one commercial who actually believes that everything on the internet is true.

Now, the key to this anecdote is that Jason Narvy and Paul Schrier were half-joking. They did indeed have a problem during the panel and they did indeed cause $10,000 in damages. But they were never banned. And anyone who could read would’ve seen the GIANT RED QUESTION MARK at the end of the word “banned” in the above image. Unfortunately, the internet has decided that selective reading is a normal thing (spoiler, its not, but you have probably only read half the words I’ve written anyways) and freaked out even more than it did, starting the great Morphicon wars of the past four days. And what were Paul and Jason’s contributions to this battle mostly raged on by the fans like literally every other battle the internet gets worked up about? Images like these.

So, at the very least, they were trying for damage control. Because, again, them being banned was a JOKE. Kind of. They were never banned. Ever. The internet was just being paranoid. As shown when Power Morphicon posted this lovely numbered just a bit after the initial image where they said “banned?”.

There you have it. Power Morphicon admitted that they never banned Bulk and Skull from their fine convention. Instead, the welcome them back like the father welcomed back his son in the parable of the prodigal son. Furthermore, they have decided to sell shirts poking fun at the whole ordeal as a way to help pay off the damages. So, the heroes save the day, the villain turns out to be a misunderstood loner with a drinking problem (not confirmed) and the internet still loses because it’s the internet and we will do this again next week once something else happens that isn’t real. But, like Meatloaf says, two out of three ain’t bad. I’d beg to disagree, since 66% is a D or a F in most public school systems (at least, the ones that still use letter grades), but I want this article to be over with soon, so not doing that.

Anyways, I hope you are all glad about this revelation. I know I am. Bulk and Skull are the real stars of PR. And not Jason David Frank. Or Johnny Yong Bosch. I’m sure you have made the mistake, since the two of them are always around in PR, but trust me, it’s Paul Schrier and Jason Narvy. But I can completely understand the confusion. Actually, no I can’t, because neither of them have been around as long as Bulk and Skull and I feel like neither of them have appeared as often as Bulk. Bulk is always there. Always.